This is absolutely, 100% true.  The only time you REALLY FAIL is when you STOP TRYING.  As is the purpose of this blog, I've really been taking a good look at my life lately.  And what I've found is that IN THE PAST, I have been a quitter.  I quit things when they become "inconvenient" for me.  I've given up exercise program after exercise program because "I don't have the time", or "there's something good on TV", or "I've already ruined my diet for the day, so why work out". 

In the last year, I have found that the more I work out, truly the happier I am.  I am able to deal with stressful situations with more patience, I'm more optimistic, and I really take the time to work through my problems rather than just toss them into the pile with the others.  The cloud of gloom and doom has been lifted from my life.  So why in the world would I not do everything in my power to feel like this everyday??  Well, I have....for the most part. But lately, I have been feeling myself slip again, and today is about getting back on track.  

I know that the winter months are always the hardest for me.  When it's cold outside, it's just easier to come home from work and bundle up on the sofa watching TV all night.  And it's easier to keep snuggled up in bed all day than it is to get up and get moving in the morning.  And since I slept all day, why not just grab something to eat on the to work?  Yup, we've all been there.  And that's fine, every once in a while...we all have our off days.  We just CANNOT make habit of this!  

I've cut off the workout excuses by making a promise to get up at 8 A.M. every day.  And I'm doing that (for the most part...sometimes it 9:00, but still good for me!)  But my eating needs to get under control.  Working out and then eating like crap is not going to get me anywhere.  I mean, it's better than eating like crap and NOT working out, but I have to fuel my body or I'm going to start feeling terrible again.  My workouts have been suffering, and I know what's next...dropping the workouts, too.  Well, NOT ON MY WATCH!!

You can always get back on track...you can always make a change.  You never fail until you quit.  No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch...I know all of that.  Winter will not be the death of me!  I haven't gained back any of the weight that I lost last year.  That is a TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT for me.  I think of last winter, when I plummeted up to 206 pounds - 10 pounds heavier than I had ever been in my life. There was no hope.  I was doomed....until, of course, I found Beachbody, and FELL IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE AGAIN!!

This year, I'm 30 pounds lighter, and I'm making positive changes everyday.  I fight every day for a better life.  I may be going slowly right now, but I'm never going to stop again!  I'm making the promise today to get back on track with my nutrition, and keep this train on track!

I also think it's time to run my own Beachbody Challenge group.  To TRULY make a real change, you need 90 days.  I fell in love with the BeachBody life during my 90 Day Challenge.  So I think that starting in mid-February, I'll start a 90 Day Group.  That will run me right up into the beginning of summer, so that will be perfect.  

Do anything you can to keep yourself on track with your fitness...it's the best thing you can ever do for YOU!

I read once that procrastination is a form of addiction for some people...I have GOT to be one of those people.  I wholeheartedly believe that procrastination has been the downfall of my entire life.  In school, I was ALWAYS the person who was up all night the night before the project was due.  I start reading the book the night before the test.  I wait until the day of a function to shop for the dress. I pay the electric bill the night before it's going to be cut off EVEN WHEN I HAVE THE MONEY!  I can't tell you how much money I've wasted in late fees and reconnect fees, or how many times I've gone to work in wet pants because I waited too long to do laundry.  This is the reason I've never been successful at my job, and why I'm always a frantic mess when it comes to going out of town, going out with friends, or even getting ready for work in the morning.  

Procrastination gives some people - and by some people, I mean me - a rush, just like some people get from things like gambling.  There's this anticipation of "Will I get it done in time?" And then this crazy rush while I rush around trying to get things done...the high I feel when I get it done just in the nick of time.  And then the low I feel when I think about the fact that I've either wasted the day, or more money, or haven't learned anything from rushing the process, or even worse - I don't make the deadline at all, and I've failed once again.  I'm not enjoying the journey when I'm waiting for the high, you know?

So today is about GETTING SHIT DONE!!  I mean, even this blog...I started off strong, and I've been slacking off a little, and I know it's almost midnight and I'm just getting this started tonight.  I have one less battle to deal with since I AM keeping the house clean...in the past I've been the one who gets more cleaning done 20 minutes before someone comes over than I do all month.  Now I'm living in a nice tidy house (with the exception of some clothes strewn about here and there).  I'm feel much more at ease in a tidy home...now it's time to tidy up the rest of my life.  

It's so much less stressful when you can get the bills paid on time.  And let's face it, I'm just not making enough money to pay the bills.  I live in a beach town and the restaurant business is TERRIBLE in the winter.  But I'm a determined woman right now!  I live in America!  Where there's a will, there's a way!  ....and all that jazz. In the past, I would just lay down and let the bills beat me down, and I will admit, I've fallen into the same pattern this winter.  BUT NO MORE!!  I mean, it's one thing if you genuinely don't have the money...but so many times, I have the money to pay a bill, and I'll just keep it until, like, the phone gets cut off...well that's $20 to reconnect!! RIDICULOUS!!  NO MORE!  

It's not just the money issue, but that's at least something tangible to deal with.  The rest I will have to take on a case by case basis.  So, I'm sure I'll keep you posted...WISH ME LUCK!!

I read this and realized how very true it is. Have you ever loved the same book as a friend, and when you discussed parts, you remembered COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS?  Different parts of a book will speak to different people, because of the memories and dreams that particular person feeds from when reading.    

So, I know what this quote is about...standing up for what's right and all that, which I wholeheartedly believe to be true. But I actually thought of it in another way after something happened the other day, so I thought I'd share....

A few days ago, at work, I was walking through the dining room (I work in a restaurant in case you didn't know) and an older lady stopped me.  She asked me if I would walk another elderly lady (it seemed like maybe her sister) to the restroom so that she could continue eating.  Of course I would! So the woman took my arm and off we went.  I learned, on the way to the restroom, that she had fallen down and broken her kneecap a while back, and now she couldn't walk without leaning on someone or something.  We chatted while we walked, but there was definitely an air of tension - she was embarrassed, I could tell.  So I tried to chat about things like her pretty nail polish and her granddaughter (who had painted her pretty nails). When we got back to the table, she said "I've got it from here, young lady.  Thank you so much."  She was able to walk the last few feet back to her seat and get settled in just fine, so I left and continued on with my day.   But this experience just really got me thinking about defeating it must feel to need help getting anywhere you needed to go.  And I thought about the way I used to treat my body, and how much more alive I felt now that I'm getting healthier.

Now, this lady was, I want to say, about 80 years old.  And at 80 years old, if you need some help getting up and around, then so be it...I think you've earned that right.  But I look at myself less than a year ago.  I couldn't walk a flight of stairs without getting winded.  When I knelt down, there was pain in my knees, and I couldn't get back up without bracing myself.  When I sat - well first of all, it hurt my knees just to sit.  But also, I was so overweight that it was uncomfortable to even breathe sometimes.  My doctor told me in June that I was on my way to diabetes and already had pretty high blood pressure.....  

So, how long would it be until I wouldn't be able to "stand alone"?  I see more and more older people with walkers, and scooters, and oxygen tanks. A little over six months ago, I was on my way to being one of those people...but not anymore!

Within only a few weeks of better diet and exercise, my body felt better.  My knees are now pain free!  My doctor says I'm no longer pre-diabetic, and my blood pressure is down significantly from 6 months ago.  I'm a long way from the weight and fitness level that I want to be, but I'm well on my way.  It's funny how, in the past, my motivations for losing weight have always been pictures of models from magazines, or thinking of getting myself into a pair of skinny jeans!  And don't get me wrong, getting into those skinny jeans is definitely still up there on my list of goals.  But when I think about motivating myself, I think of women like this one.  I think of getting older and not being able to do for myself - not being able to stand alone ever again.   And given enough time, we will all experience this need for assistance in everyday life. But I'm going to take care of my body so that that day is far, far off in future.

And I intend to do just that!  Today is about getting really focused on means OTHER than my job, to make a the money to get me where I want to be, rather than where I am now.  

The first, and most important thing that will sustain me in the long run, is my Beachbody business.  I have a goal of helping 50 people get fit this year.  I just feel like I'm not reaching enough people.  But I also think that I'm just not really trying to.  So this morning is all about working on ways to reach out farther than I am to get the response that I want.  Instagram, this blog, maybe a website...whatever it is, I need to get on the ball and start doing it ASAP!  All these things are totally free!  And I can do them from home, so there's no excuse.  I should be succeeding in this business.

Another great avenue to making a little extra money is Ebay.  Everyone has at LEAST a few things in there house that can fetch a few dollars, right?  So this afternoon I'm off to hunt for a few things I can sell online.  It's the end of my week, and I promised myself I would have $250 worth of things posted online ($500 is my goal for the month)....as of right now I have a little over $100.  So this afternoon is dedicated to Ebay.  Do what you can with what you have, right?  And in this case, do what you can with what you don't want anymore!  Ebay may not be the greatest money making idea for me, personally.  Even though there ARE people that actually make a living doing this, I don't think I will.  I'll sell some things of mine and then look for things to purchase that I think would fetch a little more online than what I bought them for.  It's not something I would consider doing "full time". But if it can be a small part of my income that can sustain itself, why wouldn't I do it for a few hours a week?

Well, off to it, then!  I work at my "real job" at 4:00, and there's so much to do before then...I would love to know some things you do when money is just a little too tight...

Yesterday, I talked a little about  the uselessness of worrying.  It has no place in my life right now (or ever, really)...I just have to put my nose to the grindstone and get through the tough spot I'm in right now.  I realized, today, that the worrying that seems to be creeping in may have something to do with the amount of complaining about things I'm doing lately...hence, today's quote.

Now, it's hard being broke.  We've all been there at one time or another.  You want to get out and do things with your friends, but you can't - you're broke.  You want to have a little money in the bank for a "rainy day", but no such luck.  You'd love to buy a new pair of shoes to go with the new outfit you just got, but you can't because you don't have money for shoes OR a new outfit!  And really, you want to talk about getting away for a few days?? 

Well, you get my point...it's hard.  And when you see your friends moving on with their lives...building businesses, buying homes, moving away...it's even harder, when you're sort of stuck.  BUT I'M NOT STUCK!  I'm in the middle of a great transformation for myself, and I AM PROUD OF THAT!  I've made decisions in my life that have put me in a TOUGH SPOT - not an impossible one.  But when the rent is late, and the bills are piling up, and you're not making any money, and you just want to be thin already, and you don't like where you live, you just want to vent a little, RIGHT??  WRONG!!  SHUT IT UP!  Griping doesn't solve anything, it just casts a gloomy cloud over you and makes that worry creep into your head.  

I realized that when I was frustrated at work this weekend,  I just wanted to do nothing put pull the covers over my head and hide.  But today, I refused to let life get me down, and guess what?  It didn't.  I went to work with a good attitude, and I left feeling like I was ready to face the rest of my day.  So I went home, worked out, fixed a nice dinner, and now I'm getting my blog done.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm never going to complain again, or that I'm going to automatically be the most positive person in the world.  That would be a ridiculous assumption.  We all have to vent it out sometimes.  But since I've been making healthier choices and more positive life decisions, I've been in great spirits most of the time and a pretty happy person. It's just right around the time when the stress of "bill time" rolls around that I get like this.  I just have to be more aware of the attitude I'm sending out.  Even to just agree with a group of venting co-workers or friend is toxic to your mood.  It is a better use of energy - instead of wallowing in frustration - to go for a walk or do something creative to get my mind on something else.  And instead of listening to those venting friends, try to turn the situation into a more positive one...either to help solve the problem, or just remove myself from the situation entirely.  Anything to keep myself from falling back into old, bad habits.

Oh boy do I dread getting out there and jogging after I haven't done it in months!  I went out the other day, and it was SO COLD!  I walked mostly, jogging just a few minutes at a time. But at least I got out there and did it!  I'm heading out there again today...much better weather, so I'm excited to get outside and enjoy it for a while.  

I got to a point a few years ago where I could actually run a couple miles without stopping...I would get in the "zone" and it felt really good.  Then I stopped because it was getting colder and I just wasn't a hardcore runner.  WHAT?  That's a STUPID EXCUSE!  Once summer is over, I get lazy would be the truth behind that excuse.  Ever since then, I've started and stopped a few more times with my jogging, but never up to where I was.  Well, a friend and I have dedicated ourselves to running some races this year, the first one being in April.  So here I am, starting over - AGAIN.  That old saying, "If you're tired of starting over, then stop giving up" comes to mind.  It's so hard to keep starting OVER AND OVER with this.  I can't breathe, my legs are cramped, I can't get into a rhythm...it just sucks.  But, one day, all of sudden, jogging 2 minutes at a time turns into 5...the next time it's 10, and HEY!  Did I just run a mile?? And then What the Heck?  Another mile will be easy!  I'm hitting my stride and that's it!  I'm hooked!  I love to run again......so WHY do I just give it up if it feels so great?  No GOOD reason...just lazy (I know I stated this early but to reiterate - SO STUPID!)  BUT NO MORE!! This time, I have no intentions on giving up.  Running in races has been a goal of mine for too long, and now it is a promise to myself that I will be keeping!

I'm playing a little catch-up today...yesterday was a frustrating day, and by the end of it, I just didn't want to think about ANYTHING, so I'm writing Day 9 and Day 10 today.  

Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't the MOST TERRIBLE DAY - nothing REALLY AWFUL happened.  It was just one of those days.  You know what I mean...You're trying hard to do the right things, and yet, it all seems to go wrong.  And just when you think you've turned it around and not let the day WIN....NOPE, YOU LOSE!  Those are the days when all kinds of self-defeating thoughts creep into your head - "Why even try?"  "What are you doing with your life?" "Nothing is ever going to change".  These days, I'm usually able to brush those thoughts off, get a good workout in, listen to some Beyonce and Maroon 5, and it's back to business as usual! But today it all just really got to me.  

But not to worry!  The good thing about making a positive changes in my life is that when I'm having one of those days, I make a conscious decision to make it better, not just wallow in self pity.  Sometimes you just need to be around someone who you know will make you smile.  So I went and had some much needed time with one of my favorite people (who I, unfortunately don't get to see very often).  I had a few beers, a lot of laughs, and - most importantly - some great big hugs that made it all that crap from earlier in the day just fade away.  It was just what the doctor ordered.  This morning I let myself sleep in (just a little!), and now I'm up and ready to begin a fresh new day!

In the past, I would let a bad day consume every part of me.  I'm learning - all be it a BIG learning curve - to not let outside forces control so much of what's going on inside me. Do what you have to - go for a run, listen to some music, find a friend, paint a picture, or just sit down and think it through to a logical conclusion.  But leave that bad day where it belongs - behind you.